Dan Replies:
Dear Branden & Cody: I'm sorry to hear you had a bad time in one of your games. Youth hockey is supposed to be about having fun and when it's not - it goes against why you play the game so I understand why you might be sour or upset.
From talking to other people about your game, it appears that the officials may have "let the game get out of control" which resulted in some penalties that went un-noticed or un-called and some players from your team retaliated and the retaliations were called, resulting in your team, which normally doesn't take many penalties, having enough players in the box to play Duck-Duck-Goose.
One of the reasons my father encouraged us to play youth sports was because he thought it was a wonderful opportunity to learn life lessons. And there is an important life lesson to learn here. It's to abide by the rules even if you know you aren't going to get caught or punished. Rules are in place both in life and in hockey so everyone can go about their business fairly and in safety. A disciplined person won't speed, for example, even if he knows the police are nowhere to be found because speeding can be dangerous to himself and others. Just so, a disciplined hockey player won't slash and wack even if he sees that the refs aren't calling a tight game. A really disciplined player won't retaliate against a slash-and-wacker because he understands there may be unintended consequences - injury, and even worse re-retaliation, or a penalty.
Don't look to the ref here. Another way of saying, "The ref let the game get out of control" is to say, "The ref let the players play". That some players took advantage of that and others retaliated demonstrates that both sides have life lessons yet to learn about being disciplined, playing fair, and being in control of their emotions - something we all need to learn in life and also if you intend to go on in hockey or any sport. In a perfect world, we wouldn't need referees and the game would go along just fine. The proof of that is that in the pick-up shinny games (my idea of a perfect world) at Mulligan's Hollow and in your side yards there are never refs but seldom any fracases.
That a referee used inappropriate language and a parent assaulted a player from another team is inexcusable and is an issue your parents should address. Apparently there are some life lessons about being disciplined that some adults need to learn as well, heh? Better you learn them now and I think hockey is a great way to learn them.
