Dan Replies:
From Jay: It's unthinkable and leads me to wonder if you have the whole story. Taking it on face value, coaches are a sample of the population and there are insensitive, inconsiderate, heartless, cruel, etc. people in all walks of life.
I'd use it a chance to teach an important life lesson. What happened isn't fair, isn't right, it's cruel, it's insensitive, etc. but sometimes life isn't fair, is cruel, etc. Bad things happen to good people and when that happens you rely on your faith, your family, your friends to put the bad things behind us and try to find a good situation to replace it or some other wholesome activity to express what is good about ourselves.
I think it's also important to separate the behavior from the sport. This would have been just as unacceptable if it happened on the job or at school. It's the bad behavior we deplore, not the setting it happened in.
There is an important life lesson in this for parents as well. The most important decision regarding your son making a team is not whether he's good enough (has the right skills, experience, stuff etc) to make the team, the more important question is whether the team is good enough (has the right skills, experience, character, sense of fair play) to make your team. I don't think I'd want my son to play for a coach as you've described him. He wouldn't make my parenting team.
Lastly, if this has been upsetting and hurtful to the player (as I suspect it must be), perhaps a letter from an NHLer might dry a tear or two and help put the incident into perspective. Send me some details. I think I know an NHLer who might write such a letter.
